Role Play

Sometimes I’m with people for just a quick minute, answering a question about how to find their departure gate.  Other times, my connection to a customer might be for five or six hours jetting out west to California, confined in a pressurized tube hurdling through impossibly cold and thin air.  The only aspect of this job that is more constant than Newark being on a ground delay program is that the people I serve always change; they come and go with every take off and every landing.  I am a part of their life for a very small amount of time, especially in the greater scheme of their existence, but I still have the opportunity to make a positive influence on their spirit and this is a personal challenge I do not take lightly. 

This is all to say that when a customer blows up at me, yes, I take it personally. Believe it or not, I do so by choice, not because my company or I have failed to provide a service, but because I would like to believe that for better or worse, I can stand to gain something out of the experience and maybe you, the upset and angry customer, can gain something, too. There are, however, limits. 

Slam poet Taylor Mali said in his award-winning work “What Teachers Make” the following words of brilliance:

“I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking and that policy is that if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.”

Consider the following interaction that occurred on a flight of mine a few weeks ago.  While I’m taking a case of water from the Provisioning truck supplying my flight at the forward service door, a middle-aged woman traveling with her mother and more baggage than is legal to carry-on grabs me by the shirt sleeve, turns me around and with a very agitated, demanding tone says, “You know, you could take a bag and help.”  Yes, hello to you too ma’am and welcome aboard.  I bite my tongue and instead start the following conversation:

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I was getting a case of water for our flight.  Did you need assistance?

Woman: Um, yes, I do. Take this bag and put it in the overhead.

Me: Ma’am, I’m happy to assist you.  We can put the bag up together, you take one end and I’ll take the other.

Woman: No, you need to put it up, how do you expect me to lift it? It’s huge for God’s sakes and it weighs a million pounds.

Me: Well, if it’s too heavy for you to lift and you can’t do it with me, I’m afraid I’ll have to check it to the carousel. 

Woman: I don’t think you heard me.  Put it up. After all, it’s your job, isn’t it? I mean honestly. 

Cue that Taylor Mali quote about honesty and ass kicking. You asked for it and now I have to let you have it.  Of course, I could never say what I wanted to say on the plane, so to the woman whose bag I refused to lift into the overhead, this is for you. The answer I gave you was, “I’m sorry ma’am, those are our options today.  We can do it together or I can check it, and I apologize for the inconvenience.” This is the answer I wanted to give you:

First of all, I’m not sorry because there was no inconvenience.  You should apologize to me for treating me like your slave.  After all, it is 2012 and I believe that in this day in age, we treat each other with respect at the very least even if you forgot to pack your manners.  You should apologize to your fellow travelers for holding up the boarding process, making them wait in a 90-degree jetbridge that has no air conditioning pumping cold air into it.   You should apologize to your elderly and disabled mother who is sitting in 2D with her hand on her forehead, sheepishly apologizing for your behavior to everyone around you because she is embarrassed that she has to rely on you to help her get from point A to point B.

And no, ma’am, my job is not to put your 60-pound carry-on bag into the overhead bin.  It is not my job to endanger my health and well-being for you to have your bras and travel-sized lotions above your head instead of under your feet.  Nowhere in my job description did it say I’d get paid for putting up with your unreasonable demands.  I have no choice but to deal with your bad attitude, which I will acknowledge professionally and with a smile, but I will not tolerate your selfish and demeaning remarks.   It is not my job to ask the person in 1E to put their seat forward during the flight because you don’t like it reclined and no I will not let you cut another customer in line for the bathroom just because you feel like you’ve already waited long enough.  Your glass of wine is not on the house because I wouldn’t lift your bag during boarding and no I can’t tell you it’s okay to get a book out of the overhead while the seatbelt sign is on. 

But enough about what my job isn’t.  Let me tell you what my job is. I am a highly trained and qualified professional.  It is my job to welcome you onboard and assist you with your baggage, not stow it for you.  I have agreed to graciously provide you with all the tools my company offers to make your travel experience a pleasant one; whether or not you choose to partake is your choice and yours only.  I will gladly offer you a soda and a bag of chips and will explain all of your food and drink options even though we just told you there’s a menu card in your seat.  I will of course sell you a pair of headphones so you can watch the in-flight entertainment and smile when you try to pay for them in cash even though I just told you it was debit or credit card only, for no less than the 3^rd time this flight.  I will say “you’re welcome” any time you thank me.  I will apologize for our maintenance related delay even though the inconvenience was not my fault and was with your safety in mind.  I will empathize with your delayed travel plans and sympathize with your missed connection.  I will help you find a space for your luggage even though you were late to boarding because you had to go buy a bag of pretzels just as the gate agent called for all rows and all passengers. I will pull your broken body out of this burning airplane even if it kills me because it's the role I've agreed to take to protect your life and value it as if it were my own.  

Let me break it down for you ma’am so it is very clear to you what my job is and is not about, and yes, I’m getting personal. Let me tell you what I stand for and who I am.  I believe that I am blessed and I do not question this.  I am not religious, but I am spiritual.  I believe in the mind and body as one and I believe that soulmates can be partners and friends or maybe even both and I witness acts of bravery and chivalry every day between people who don't know each other at all, but believe in the human connection .  I honor your right to choose and I will concede to your opinion if it seems more logical than mine or if it’ll just really make you happy.  I don’t necessarily know you, but I have chosen to love you regardless because I believe that’s what humans should do.  I still choose to love you even though I think in all actuality that your behavior on this airplane depicts you to be a heinous bitch and it horrifies me that I'd have to breathe the same recycled air as you.  To put that all aside is what it means to me to be a global citizen.   All I am asking for in return is your respect, which I promise to afford to you at all times nevermind what my inner dialogue wants me to say or do. 

Now, with that being said, would you like something to drink?